


You Can't Change Me

by Vic_writes01



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Conversion Therapy, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier Are Best Friends, F/M, M/M, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Little Shit, Running Away, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:06:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24174070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vic_writes01/pseuds/Vic_writes01
Summary: There’s a dark place, on the outskirts of Derry, many miles away and hidden from society, it’s supposedly worse than Derry. And Derry is a place that you would want to run away from. The town itself is stuck in the 1970s with racism and homophobia, while the rest of the world grew up. The only safe people are 30 Jews and an African American family of 3, that still live within Derry. Thankfully they don’t believe in the rest of Derry’s customs.Eddie had never been more scared in his life, but having had faced Sonia Kaspbrak multiple times before, how was this any different? All his life he was told he was sick and every synonym for the word ‘delicate’; he had heard it all. If anything, he’s proven to himself that he isn’t what anybody says, he’s braver and stronger than he or anyone could ever imagine.But as the 4 words that would never please his mother, came out. He doesn’t realise that he’s going to miss out on his senior year of high school and is forced to stay in that dark place that no boy or girl wants to go. He should have known better, but does he regret it after he sees the boy, he was told was just an imaginary friend, for the first time in 13 years?
Relationships: Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Mike Hanlon & Eddie Kaspbrak
Kudos: 8
Collections: Richie/Eddie Bigbang 2019





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TW: this multi-chapter fic touches on abuse, homophobia & racism.

The luscious and opulent green forest that surrounds the small Christian town is peaceful; no-one wonders through, except maybe the odd teenager or two. No one has cut the trees down since the mining days. The Barrens had become the perfect hideaway and a second home to a small, feisty hypochondriac, Eddie Kaspbrak, who is always perched on a low, sturdy branch of an old tree. It’s a place for him to hide away from his mother. 

He could read for hours, getting lost in the words of Shakespeare, George Orwell and Charles Dickens. Eddie loves the classics just as much as he loves the forest. 

The forest is his greatest escape, he can run, jump, skip, hop; not having to worry about his overbearing mother telling him to stop before he breaks his ‘fragile’ bones. All his life that’s what he was told, ‘ _ Eddie Bear, you can’t do track, you have asthma _ ’; or ‘ _ Eddie Bear, there are too many germs for you to catch the bus _ ’. 

All it had taken for him to realise that he isn’t sick, was breaking his arm when a bully had thrown him hard into a brick wall, a few years back. It was a few days after that that the pharmacist’s daughter told him that his pills were placebos. Eddie was quaking with anger all the way home, but by the time he got home, he was scared. He was scared of confronting her, knowing full well what she’s capable of. 

_ You can’t go out with Bill today, you are getting over your sickness, remember. _

The number of times that he had heard that sentence when he felt fine, was outrageous! He is perfectly healthy. Why else can he run without losing his breath? Why else can he jump, skip etc. without breaking a single bone? It made him question so much. What else is she lying to him about? He’s not weak, he’s perfectly normal!

“Edward?” The familiar voice of Derry’s only African American boy jogs up to the tree. The fallen leaves crunch under his feet as he makes his way over to Eddie.

“Took you long enough, Hanlon,” Eddie replies, snapping his book shut. He jumps from the branch, grabbing his backpack and walks to the farmer’s grandson. “Where have you been?”

Michael Hanlon lived with his grandparents on the only farm in Derry, located on the edge of the forest. Back in the late 1800s when his family moved, they were forced to live far away from the ‘white community’ because they were black. It was the norm back then, to phase out the non-whites; but unfortunately, Derry hasn’t changed since then. After World War II passed, the Hanlons were the only one that stayed and essentially became the last black family in Derry and were tormented for it. 

Whenever Mike was sent into town, he was always stopped by the Bowers Gang. They’d beat him to a pulp until he was nothing. Well, that was until he met Eddie Kaspbrak, Ben Hanscom and Bill Denbrough. They were the only boys that knew what it felt like to be beaten up by a bunch of bullies. They didn’t care about the racial disparities that the town has, he’s a person, just like them. He deserves to be treated with the utmost respect.

“Grandpa made me do a few extra chores for some extra cash,” the boy explains, well Eddie couldn’t argue with that. Cash is cash, only Eddie didn’t know a thing about work. If his mom found out he got a job, she’d be up at that place in the blink of an eye, giving all kinds of excuses to keep her son by her side. 

The two boys walk side-by-side on their way to Mike’s grandpa’s bottom-most shed, by the edge of the Barrens. He hasn’t been down there in years and decided to give it to Mike for a recording studio, library and a place to live once he turns 18. Mike had fixed one side and is yet to do the other

“Wow, you’ve done a great job on this side of the shed,” Eddie asks as he takes one final look around the done-up half of the shed. 

“Thanks, bro,” Mike replies and pulls out two bottles of cola and leads Eddie over to the reading nook. The farmer’s grandson had built a window bay and had placed plush beige chairs beside it, in case his friends came over. The hypochondriac is more than amazed with the construction and styling of half of the home, staring in awe at the floor to ceiling shelving and a kitchenette in the cozy room. 

“This is amazing, Mike,” Eddie observes running a hand up and down the side of the oak timber shelves. Eddie proceeds over to the bay window, sitting down and looking out to the wilted and dishevelled flower bed near the forest. “Want me to fix that flower bed, next time?” 

“If you want to, I was going to do a bit of gardening after I got the house sorted, but you can always start it. If you wanted, that is,” Mike takes a sip of his cola before placing his bottle on one of his few coasters. “So, what’s been going on with you? Any Summer flings?”

Eddie chokes on the cola, causing a quick coughing fit. His throat burns as the bubbly substance rises then falls back into his esophagus. 

“Mike, that’s bullshit and you know it, I don’t find girls attractive in that sense,” Eddie replies. 

“So you’re gay?” Mike queries, “you don’t have to tell me, I’m sorry.”

Eddie thought for a moment, could he be? He thought girls were pretty but didn’t have the urge to kiss them or anything. 

Mandy Jacobs had kissed him in the 9th grade and he felt nothing but when Bill did it as a dare in the 11th, he liked it. He found men attractive not women, whenever he watched Star Wars, he found Luke Skywalker attractive, not Princess Leia. 

“Yeah, yeah, I think so,” Eddie admits and takes another swig of his cola. “That doesn’t, like, bother you?”

“Eddie, I’d be a hypocrite if it did. I don’t care, besides I’m gay as well.”

For the first time ever, Eddie isn’t scared to admit who he is. He has been pushing away the thoughts ever since Mandy kissed him 3 years ago. He’s known that being gay isn’t an illness for ages, even though he used that as an excuse to suppress his sexuality. The next thing to do is to tell Sonia. What’s the worst that can happen? She disowns him and is left out on the streets? Well if that happens, at least he has Mike.

**** **** ****

2 weeks later, Eddie comes home from a day out at the quarry with Bill and Mike, he tries to sneak past but Sonia is in the kitchen preparing dinner. 

“You’re late Eddie,” Sonia says, not looking up from the carrot she’s cutting.

“I know, ma,” Eddie replies, he bows his head in shame and he knows that what he’s about to say will cause chaos. “Ma, can I tell you something?” He still doesn’t look at her, keeping his eyes glued to his feet.

“Of course, Eddie bear, what is it?” Sonia stops chopping the carrot, places the knife down and looks up at her only child.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while now and I, uh, I’m gay.”

When she doesn’t say anything, he looks up, she’s back to preparing the vegetables for their meal. 

“Did you hear what I said?” Eddie asks.

Fear creeps onto him, he knew the issues that telling his mother would create, and yet he still stands there trembling with fear. He can’t run, not when he just said the two most feared words any Derry parent does not want to hear. Especially if that said parent is Sonia Kaspbrak. 

“Yes, I did and I know you’re wrong,” Sonia states, the firmness in her voice sends a shiver down Eddie’s spine. 

‘Wrong’, ‘wrong’? 

That word repeats itself in Eddie’s impressionable head, how can he be wrong? He knows his own sexuality, he knows what he is, how can he be wrong? Did he hear right?

“Have you been taking those pills, Eddiekins? THey’re meant to prevent this,” Sonia’s voice is now soft and small as she walks towards him, the knife safely on the bench behind her. 

“Yes ma’am,” Eddie replies.

_ Lie _

“I think you’re lying to me,” Sonia’s voice grows firm, no longer creepily sweet. “If you had been taking your medicine then you wouldn’t be infected!”

Eddie bolts up the stairs in fear. How could he be infected? Having a change in sexuality isn’t a disease, it makes zero sense. Why is Derry like this? Why aren’t they progressing like the rest of the world? 

*

While he is upstairs, the short plump woman is straight on the phone. Ever since a few of his friends, in the school's book club, had come out gay/bi, Sonia had found a number of conversion therapy places. It was like she had the 6th sense or something. She knew her son would come out gay to her at some point. 

“Hello, this is Kiren Harter, from Morenth House, how can I help you?” A man on the receiving end of the phone answers.

“Hello, Mr Harter, this is Sonia Kaspbrak and I would like to check my son in,” Sonia says quietly, not wanting her son to hear, but the water starts running. “Is tomorrow okay?”

“Tomorrow is perfect, what’s your son’s name?”

“Edward Kaspbrak.”

Sonia hears a beep at the other end and hangs the phone back on the wall. As much as she wants to coddle him and keep him with her for the rest of his life, he needs help. Some serious help.


	2. Chapter 2

“Richie Tozier is his name and doing voices is his game”, this son of a bitch was sent to Morenth House 7 years ago. His parents dropped him off as if it were a daycare, only except, he’d be forgotten for 7 years. They had hoped that the house would convince their son that he wasn’t gay, but Richie’s defiant. 

As he nears closer and closer to the age of 18, he’d get the fuck out of that hell hole claiming that they would no longer have control over him. He counts the days, only a few more months and he’d be free. 

His only friend there was Beverly Marsh, the warden’s niece, but ever since they found out about their friendship, the young girl was banished. So he’s back with no friends, no one likes him anyway. His old friend, Stanley Uris, is gay but as his parents are Jewish, they don’t care about the tomfoolery of the town. Stan’s parents brought him up to accept everyone and in a town like Derry, finding people, like Stan, are incredibly rare. 

What no one tells you about this place is that it’s nothing like the psych wards at hospitals. These people use distractions to help you forget, they isolate you with pornographic media of women. There’s not a single ounce of negative religiosity in this place. The only way that religion is used is during a one-hour prayer session, every day when you beg the Lord for forgiveness. The bible is not once brought up in their therapy sessions or punishments which Richie believes is somewhat of a good thing.

But those punishments are the worst! Richie Tozier will tell you just how bad they are. Their favourites are public abuse/humiliation and the darkroom. Richie has no idea how no one has gotten this place shut down. In his younger years, he watched so many kids come and go and no one had gone to the authorities. 

The dorm rooms are set up to be uncomfortable, every room is different, depending on newcomers and how naughty each boy has been. Richie’s dorm room is the last dorm in the entire house, the highest number, room 402. Nothing works, the beds are lumpy, the pillows are hard. It’s unsafe to use the chair, the desk both are rotten and have screws and nails sticking out. The windows are smashed, there are no sheets. All Richie has are a stash of his grandfather’s novels that he left him when he passed. The stash was hidden along with a stash of letters that Stanley used to send before the Harters sent one to Stan to stop sending him letters. 

The box of books was the only personal possession Richie could keep. He wanted to choose the letters but his heart would break the more he would read them, he wanted to remember Stan in a positive light, the child that he remembers him to be. 

Richie longs to leave the house and go back to Derry but he knows that that isn’t possible. He knows that he would never be welcomed back. 

*

“Richard get up! You’re getting a roommate today!” A voice yells on the other side of the door, which swings open, revealing Mr Harter. “NOW!”

Richie groans and drags his dead ass out of bed. He’s learnt to just deal with the bedding over time even though he’s got aches and knots in every inch of his body. He just didn’t want to make his time there any worse but it’s only 7 more months until he is out. Surely he can wait it out.

He pulls on his overalls and a striped T-shirt before making his way down the creaky old staircase. Everyone thought that it wouldn’t be long before the entire thing just collapses since everything is done with illegal extremities. It is obvious that the house was built by them, the rooms were not of legal head height, not everything was bolted or nailed properly. All the boys are scared that the structure could collapse at any given moment. 

As he gets to the bottom, he’s awaited by a number of young boys, most around the ages of 9 to 12. They look up to Richie as he’s the only one that has been there for many years. He knows the ins and outs of how they work and what not to do in order to not be punished. 

A lot of these boys, leave then come back because their parents believe that they’ve fallen into a relapse. It pains Richie to hear that another young boy has come back to this place, they don’t deserve this sort of life. Most boys here know that Derry is a lying sack of shit, they just want what they think is the ‘norm’ and therefore refusing to change with the times. With every boy that comes back, Richie hugs them and shows them the love and kindness that they deserve. He has become their big brother, almost, showing them the love and family should give to their child.

“Did sir tell you that you have a roommate yet?” A young boy, around the age of 9, named Thomas asks the tall 17-year-old. 

“Why, no he didn’t,” Richie replies sarcastically, not in the mood to deal with anyone today. “Now, off to breakfast, wouldn’t want sir or ma’am getting mad now, would we?”

“No, Richie,” the boys say in unison and they run off to the younger boys’ dining room. While Richie makes his way to the older boys’ quarters, ready to ingest the disgusting porridge that will be served. The large room is crisp white, with timber tables - one for each boy - they aren’t allowed to speak to one another and are just allowed to listen to Mr Harter’s chores for the day. 

The broken comedian lines up to get his bowl of the disgusting porridge and sits down at his designated table, right in front of where Mr Harter will soon appear. He lifts a spoonful of the dry porridge to his mouth and reluctantly swallows it, letting the dry cardboard shit, trickle thickly down his throat. 

Mr Harter comes out with a list of chores for each of the boys, walking down each aisle. Richie looks at his list of chores and sure enough, he’s showing his new roommate around for the entire day before church this evening. 

“He will be at 10 am sharp, until then you have the morning all to yourself to prepare your room, make his bed and I will want a detailed description of each working station. You are to tell him exactly why you’re here and exactly what it is we require of him,” Mr Harter says dryly and stalks off. 

This happens every time there’s someone coming or leaving, Mr Harter and Mrs Harter don’t give speeches or daily bible readings. They come in and hand chores and assignments out before they leave to prepare for the newcomer with their interviewing questionnaires. 

The questionnaire gives them a solid understanding of where the new member of the house is with their ‘illness’. Richie is thrilled that he gets a roommate after a year of not having that luxury. He hopes that they will understand what’s going on and will want to run away with him. He needs to get out and get his life back on track like he needs to! 

**** **** ****

Eddie walks up to the front door of the complex, he had stopped having a childish temper tantrum about an hour into the 1.5-hour drive. He knows he has no choice but with his 18th birthday in 2 months time, this isn’t exactly how he planned on spending his last moments as a child. 

“Ah, you must be Sonia and Edward Kaspbrak,” the man greets the pair.

“It’s actually, Eddie, sir,” Eddie says puffing his chest out a little.

“We don’t do nicknames in this house, Edward.” The man steps aside allowing Sonia and Eddie into the old and done-up building. 

You may be wondering how a building may look old and new at the same time. Well, the Harters had built two structures on either side of the old original home, thus creating a set of rooms for each of the boys. With enough room to house approximately 812 boys and approximately 203 rooms on each side. 

So as Eddie and Sonia are directed to the office, Eddie watches as several boys are being punished and most of them working out in the sun, going redder by the minute. Fear washes over Eddie as he walks deeper into the edifice; large building. 

“Okay, Eddie I need you to answer me a series of questions,” Kieran Harter says.

“Okay, sir,” Eddie speaks firmly but a slight quiver of the two words rolls off his tongue. The man lets it slide and looks at his list.

“How old are you boy?”

“17, I will be 18 in 2 months.” Sonia flinches.

“Not to worry, he is to stay here until I deem him right for society,” Kieran says to Sonia before turning back towards Eddie. “When did you start liking men?”

“When I was 15.” Lie, a big fat lie, he always liked boys especially that boy … what was his name? He was friends with Stanley Uris. Anyway, that kid, Eddie has always liked _him_.

“Ever touched yourself to the thought of another boy?”

“No, sir.” Masturbation was burned into his mind as a horrible thing that should never be done. Eddie never did it, he couldn’t, as much as he wanted to, he was afraid that he’d be caught. All his friends would outwardly say they do it, but Eddie? Eddie couldn’t.

“You may be out of here in less than two months, but let temptation not phase you. You mustn’t give in, Edward.” Eddie nods shyly. “Right, I have gotten your roommate to get you some clothes, if they don’t fit let him know and he’ll get you a better fitting one.”

He is almost 18, they can’t do this! Can they?! He’s meant to start his senior year and go to college but now? Now he isn’t sure. He’s not sick, he knows that but until he’s 18, he has no voice of his own. Sonia still controls him and now, also, Kieran Harter. 

“I’ll send you up to 402,” Kieran says, “it’s the right-hand side.”

“Thank you, sir,” Eddie says. “Bye ma.”

He quickly scoots past his mother without hugging her and runs up the stairs following the directions to room 402. 

The boy almost trips on every uneven stair, the bannister may as well not be there as it keeps tilting as he grips it to stop himself from face planting. As a group of young boys run down the stairs, they give Eddie a sad and guilty smile. They know what he’s in for but he sure as hell doesn’t.

*

Eddie finally reaches the top and he stalks along the hallway until he reaches 402. Each door is different, the door to his dorm is splintering wood, it’s old and hasn’t been constructed properly, there are gaps in it and doesn’t have a lock. 

The hypochondriac is afraid to knock, because it may just break at any given second, so he just calls out. 

“Hello? Sorry, I would knock but the door,” Eddie says.

He can hear movement on the other side and the door opens wide. The boy standing in front of him looks oddly familiar, it’s almost like he had seen those dark chocolate curls and lanky body before.

“You must be Edward, I’m Richard, your roommate,” the boy before him says.

“That’s correct,” Eddie replies and Richie steps aside to let his roommate in. 

“Clothes are on the bed and once you are changed, I'll walk you around the grounds.”

The boy then leaves, allowing Eddie to change. He notices that there is not a single curtain on the windows and that one of the panels has a hole in it. The desks are broken and the bed is lumpy, but considering what this place is, he doesn’t care. He strips from his clothes and pulls on the overalls and striped t-shirt, thankfully they fit. 

Eddie walks out of the tiny room and out to where Richie was standing, leaning against the wall beside the ratty door. The hypochondriac couldn’t help but notice how cute the boy is, his lanky body, the curls in his hair; he swears he’s seen it all before.

“Ready?” Richie asks.

“Yep, show me around this place,” Eddie sighs heavily. 

Richie and Eddie walk down the old creaking stairs, one of them dips under their combined weight, so Eddie slows down, to prevent any of the stairs from caving. Younger boys run down past them not caring about the stairs dipping. It is like they are playing a game of tag or something.

“I know that the stairs are scary, it gets easier,” Richie explains.

“How long have you been here?” Eddie asks, gripping hold of the loose banister.

“7 years? I don’t know, but they haven’t been able to “fix” me.” The boy in front of the hypochondriac uses air quotes around ‘fix’. He couldn’t comprehend it, why did he have to stay here for so long? Couldn’t he fake it. “I wanted to fake it, but being gay, bi, trans, it isn’t an illness like they claim it to be.”

Well, that answers Eddie’s questions. 

The two near the bottom of the structure and Richie leads him to a set of french doors. As the two walk through, Eddie notices that he’s in the kitchen. The entire dynamic of it is horrifying. He watches as two workers are screaming and hitting 2 young boys, around the age of at least 13/14. 

“You get used to the sight,” Richie whispers. “Anyway, this is the kitchen. You won’t be working here but you may be asked to send vegetables, fruit, meat etc. here.” 

Eddie is lead past these 2 boys and the 2 workers, he has to refrain himself from jumping in and stopping this nonsense. But Richie drags him through the kitchen. 

"It doesn't do it any good to step in. It's how I've gotten most of my scars," Richie says. "It's bullshit if you ask me, I don't know why this place hasn't been shut down."

"Do the parents even know what goes on here? If my mom knew what was happening, she wouldn't have sent me here because I'm too 'fragile'," Eddie replies and puts air quotations around the word _fragile_.

Richie just shrugs and leads the newcomer to the dining halls. The tall brunette bypasses the young boys’ hall and leads him to the older boys’ sanction and there’s a clear difference. Boys from the ages of 9 to 12 have a bright coloured room with decorated walls and long dining tables. But the boys from 13 - 17 have a room of single wooden desk-like tables and plain white walls. 

“Are they worse to us?” Eddie asks, the fear in his voice is noticeable and all Richie wants to do is embrace the small boy. But the no-contact policy makes it incredibly hard for him to show any sort of sympathetic and empathetic response. 

“Yes.”

Eddie sighs, he couldn’t do this, he’s never going to get out before his 18th. He isn’t sick but maybe if he fakes it.

“Don’t fake it, they know and you’ll never come out of confinement for a week!” Richie states. This is starting to creep Eddie out, Richie has answered and responded to a few of his thoughts that he hasn’t said out loud. What the hell?

“Can you read my mind or something?”

“No, they’re the most asked questions though, it’s a force of habit.” Richie and Eddie laugh but Richie cuts off quickly. “Laughing is prohibited.”

“Oh.”

*

Richie takes Eddie out the back of the building, towards the farming lots. 

These sections are where the old boys spend their days, digging, planting, weeding. Depending on how much they got done, they may not get any food until dinner, so they all work their butts off. 

“Have you heard of those conversion camps where they use religion to turn you?” Richie asks, pausing near the bathrooms.

“Yeah,” Eddie replies.

“This is sort of like that, but they give you a placebo medication and beat it out of you.” Richie looks at his feet and kicks the loose dirt lightly. “They also force you to tell us how you landed here, after dinner, every Friday night.” 

The place sounds messed, why not convince them all with religion? Eddie's best guess is because using placebos is more effective, he was fooled for years after all. Placebos no long have the effect on him that Sonia wants, he can no longer be manipulated under the sun. This must be why so many of the younger boys that Richie was telling him about, get sent home earlier than the older boys because they're more naive. 

It's sad for Eddie to even consider that, how can someone take advantage of such a sweet innocent mind? He doesn't have to think too hard, all he has to do is take one thought of his mother and he knows exactly how those innocent kids feel.

This place isn’t anything ordinary, that’s for damn sure. It’s the epitome of hell. Eddie would never be able to survive this place, he is gay and proud, no doubt about that. He likes males; tall, brunette, curly-haired, funny boys. 

_Oh Boy, Richie is my type_

No matter how he would try to get ‘better’ he knows there’s the high chance of him actually getting set to confinement and beaten by the staff. 

Why would his mom do this to him? What makes her think that sending her only son, who she’s so protective of, to a place that abuses boys to make them straight? Punishing them for wrongful thinking, punishing them for refusing to change! This is not a place for anyone to go to! It’s bullshit! 

*

The two continue their tour, and Richie shows him the basement. The place where Eddie should never want to end up.

“I have ended up here 10 times. It’s awful!” Richie says. “Pictures of women for the gay guys and bible verses for the bisexuals, like me.”

“What else, there’s something you’re not telling me,” Eddie says, grabbing Richie’s arm to force him to face him.

“The walls are narrow, it’s bright, no proper toilet so it constantly smells like urine and shit. Not to mention the food, it’s worse than what you get. I can’t really explain it, but you do not want to find out for yourself.” 

Eddie feels himself shudder and they walk down the hospital like hallway towards the other side of the building. 

“Right, um, let’s go back to our room and I’ll explain the rules,” Richie says. 

The pair loop back so that they’re on their dorm side, racing up the multiple flights of stairs and straight down the hall. Panting, the two fall back on their beds catching their breaths. 

“Okay, I’ll write out the rules for you.”

Eddie watches as Richie pulls a notepad from under his bed and begins to write. There’s something about him that seems oh too familiar like they’ve met before. Their chemistry is too strong for Eddie to just ignore. It’s almost like they’ve been friends before, years ago before something happened that caused a rift in the friendship. 

_It’s too odd. Too …_ Eddie can’t put his finger on it. All he knows is that if he’s not careful, he is going to fall madly in love with the boy he’s rooming with. It’s too surreal

Richie hands Eddie a piece of paper with a list of all the rules that will keep him out of trouble.

  1. No touching - could be seen as romantic when it may not
  2. No being late to church or classes, especially with another boy
  3. No laughing, we honestly can’t show that we’re having fun unless we’re the younger boys - their rules are fucking shit, man!
  4. Must go to the one on one therapy session every Sunday (even if sick) - Means to check if you’re progressing. If you aren’t, they’ll throw you into the basement for who knows how long
  5. You work poorly in your daily chores = no lunch or a crappy dinner
  6. Any longing looks at any of the guys, you get punished - they don’t give warnings here.
  7. Any false move and you’ll be beaten and if it continues, you’ll be in the basement before you know
  8. You can trust me (Richie) because I don’t believe that what we are is an illness and I can tell that you don’t either



But there’s something at the bottom that causes Eddie to hitch his breath.

“WE KNOW EACH OTHER” right at the bottom.

But when Eddie looks up, Richie is no longer in the room. _When did he leave?_


	3. Chapter 3

Just as Richie had written on the piece of paper hours ago, after dinner, a select few boys (Richie & Eddie included) were asked to come up on stage. They are to tell the rest of them how they landed at the house and how long they’ve been here. Eddie is asked as a newcomer and for the others to get to know him. 

“Richie, you’re first,” Mr Harter barks. 

Eddie watches as Richie pushes himself out of his seat and stands in the centre of the stage. His eyes lock with the tall curly-haired boy’s and smiles briefly at him, careful that Mr Harter doesn’t see. 

“Again, really? I did it last Friday!” Richie whines, it earns him a smack up the head. “Fine!” 

Another smack, Eddie can’t believe his eyes as he watches the boy, whom he apparently knows, wince in pain. 

Richie sighs and begins his story.

Eddie listens intently, dropping his jaw in shock. 

“My parents, they refuse to believe any of the town’s nonsense but as soon as I came out gay, they used it as a reason to send me away for someone else to do the parenting. I have been here longer than any of you have, and I honestly can’t believe that I am still here.”

That means that Richie is the son of Wentworth and Magaret Tozier, who claim that their son died in a car accident. 

As Richie sits down, Eddie is called up. 

The hypochondriac starts to shake, both in nervousness but also the fact that he’s seeing someone who is supposed to be dead! Why the fuck would that send their only child away to live in a place that is literally hell!? 

“I’m Edward Kaspbrak and I am here because I came out as gay a few days ago,” Eddie says and goes to sit back down but Mr Harter stops him.

“What infected you?” The man asks. Eddie looks to Richie in fear. “Don’t look at him, he doesn’t know the answer.”

“A boy I liked many years ago with coke bottle glasses and chocolate curly hair. But he was killed in a car accident 7 years ago.”

He looks back at Richie and realises the resemblance of the dark curly hair and the stunning blue eyes behind the coke bottle lenses. With that look, it gets a little too much, and Eddie storms off the stage and all the way up to his dorm room. 

*

He slams the door shut and falls to the ground bawling his eyes out. His feelings never went away for the dorky-looking boy, he always dreamed about what he’d look like as the years passed by. And now, he here is, sharing a room with the dork that he liked back when he was 9. 

“Eddie?” The sound of Richie’s voice from behind the door calls.

“Go away,” Eddie replies.

He just confessed his feelings for Richie! Richie! Of all people?! How could he forget? Maybe because he had a rounded face the last time he saw him; he was a little more stocky, had a little more fat and muscle on him. How could he not have put two and two together, his last name his Tozier for crying out loud! He had gone to the funeral for this kid and everything! He had known Wentworth and Maggie Tozier since he was 4! How could he have forgotten his crush and best friend, Richie Tozier?!

“Eddie, let me in, please?” 

Eddie sighs heavily and opens the door.

“What is it, Richie?”

“I just wanted to see if you were alright, you ran off pretty quickly.”

_ He doesn’t know I was talking about him? _

“I’m fine, thanks, Rich. I just want to be alone right now.”

Richie stops and takes a moment to study his short roommate. Eddie can feel Richie’s eyes burn into the skin that must look wet and insanely puff from all the crying.

“Have you - Have you been crying?”

“Please, I just want to be alone.”

But Richie doesn’t, instead, he moves inside the room, closing the door behind him. The tall boy sits Eddie on his bed, trying his best to not spook him. 

“I can’t leave you alone, knowing what they might do to you when you’re this vulnerable is unbearable,” Richie explains. 

Every night that a child runs off crying after therapy or Friday night dinners can lead to some serious punishment, especially for the older boys. It means they’re feminine like and therefore sick. This can lead to one of many punishments, with the basement being one of them, especially if the boy is around the ages of 15-17. 

If Richie stays, they’re less likely to be nasty, but then again, two boys of the same age? They wouldn’t want to run the risk of any semen spilling. 

Sure enough, there are heavy footsteps coming towards the door and Eddie springs off Richie’s bed, just in time as Mr Harter swings it open. He doesn’t look impressed by what Eddie can tell. The man before them looks pissed off, his face red, fists clench and chest puffed out. 

All Eddie wants to do is run right to Mike’s cabin, where he knows he’ll be safe. He can spend day after day planting flowers and trying to revive the once-thriving shed that had housed Mike and his parents, before they passed. 

But now isn’t the time. 

Eddie is faced with the harsh reality that he will be beaten and potentially tossed into the basement. And whatever is behind those big thick metal doors, he really doesn’t want to know. 

He looks to Richie, hoping for some sort of comforting look but all he gets is fear and sympathy. It doesn’t take long before Eddie sees the belt in the man’s hand and suddenly he feels himself shaking with fear. 

The hypochondriac tries to control his tearing eyes, but it’s obvious that he was crying just moments ago. He can feel his face is puffy and tight from the drying tears. He knows that his fate is going to be the basement, he doesn’t want it but there you have it, he’s a goner.

“Please don’t sir, it’s his first day,” Richie begs.

“It doesn’t matter, you know the rules Richard,” Mr Harter says. “A crying boy is a sick boy, you know that.”

The grown man takes Eddie by the wrist and pulls him down the stairs. Eddie hasn’t felt his legs burn since he started running for the track team. The uneven stairs cause Eddie to almost fall, he’s kind of thankful for Mr Harter’s grip but at the same time, he knows that he will have a bruise there in the morning.

*

Once at the basement, Eddie is literally pushing into one of the 7 tight chambers and just as Richie said, it’s bright, a single wall is littered in pornographic magazines, while the rest have bible verses and quotes from people that don’t accept the LGBTQ+ community. 

The scared newcomer has never felt so nervous and frightened in his life. These people are disgusting and are in a serious need to be put to a stop, but how can he get out? He no longer has access to his phone, so he can’t call Mike, Bill or Ben, he’s stuck. He doesn’t have a lifeline besides Richie, but he too is kind of a lost cause since he’s obviously scared of these people. 

Eddie forces himself into the corner of the room and cries. He doesn’t know what else to do, there’s nothing more he can do but wait, pray and hope that Richie comes down and saves his ass. 

*

But Richie is sitting in his dorm room, shaking. The comedian/musician doesn’t know what he can do. If he tries to bail Eddie out then Richie will be forced into the chamber, in which in turn, Eddie will try and break him out. It would be a cycle of ‘one gets out and the other goes in’, it’d be a losing battle. 

All he needs is a nice hot shower to give him more time to think. He needs to bail Eddie out, nobody, especially the younger boys, deserves to be put into the cell. It’s terrible, how is this place even still running? What happened to all the older kids that promised little 11-year-old Richie that they’d put a stop to this madness?!

Richie collects his pyjamas and heads to the shower hall. Surprisingly there’s hardly anyone in there and he heads straight to the last stall where he knows he will have the hot water. Nobody uses it because they all think that it doesn’t have hot water, when in fact it does, but Richie will never tell. He doesn’t want the only thing he enjoys to be taken away from him, it’s why he loves showering when everyone hates it. 

As he lets the hot water run down his body a thought creeps into his head. When Bev had left, she gave him a phone that he hides in a secret compartment in the closet, he texts her every now and then. He could ask her to be their runaway driver, create an escape plan, but there are too many risks that will go along with it. 

One question still remains, why did Eddie run off crying?

It should be simple, shouldn’t it? 

*

Eddie doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting in the basement for, it feels like hours when in fact it could be minutes. No matter how hard he tries to fight back the tears, he can’t do it, they keep falling. He needs Richie or someone to rescue him from the clutches of the horrible people. He’s gay, why couldn’t his mother be like Stan’s or Mike’s parents?! Why did he have to draw the short straw and get dealt this shitty hand? 

He can’t win! He’s locked in a room for god knows how long, with no way out. Yelling won’t help, it just won’t, it will only make it worse. He doesn’t need worse, he needs better; better yet, he needs Richie. 

He needs the boy that, he was told, died in a car crash many years ago. 

Little does the hypochondriac know, that said boy is creating a plan to get both of them out. All he has to do is wait for who knows how long before the plan can burst into action.

*

Richie sits on his bed with the phone in his hands, thankfully it’s late at night and Mr Harter has already done his bed checks. Bev, bless her soul, agrees to the plan, though she’s a little suspicious of Richie’s attachment to this Eddie kid. 

**Beaverly** : Are you sure that you aren’t in love with him?

**Trashmouth** : Bev, I’m not. I swear.

**Beaverly** : Richie, you said that this kid is the one that made you realise you were gay

**Trashmouth** : That means nothing! He’s changed and quite frankly, so have I. He doesn’t even remember me.

**Beaverly** : Are you sure? 

**Trashmouth** : Yes, I’m sure. 

**Beaverly** : You sound like you’re in love, buddy.

Footsteps echo through the hall and Richie chucks the phone under the mattress and lays back down, pretending to be asleep. The door opens then it closes again, Richie waits until the footsteps go back down the hall. He hated the spontaneous bed checks, but ever since he moved rooms, he has been able to fool every single warden that stalks the halls. 

**Trashmouth** : Okay fine, he got hot. Happy? 

**Beaverly** : Very, now here’s the plan.

The plan is simple, all he has to do if Eddie isn’t out before 12 am tomorrow, is to sneak down to the basement. Guards don’t often stay down there after 11:30 pm, it’s the ones in the halls that Richie will have to be careful of if he needs to sneak Eddie out. 

Bev will have the car out the front at 1 am, if they’re not out by 3 am she will leave. Richie fears that if they get caught, they’re chances of getting out are slim to none and if that happens, Bev said she will call the police immediately and show them the texts between her and Richie. 

Bev was not allowed to tell a single soul about this place, her aunt had been monitoring her phone calls and everything but kept the prepaid phone which only takes text messages. It’s because of this that she has not been able to rescue Richie and those other boys in the house. 

But that’s all about to change, now that she’s 18, nobody can control her. With back and forth texts between her and Richie in the past 2 weeks, they have been planning an escape. However, now with Eddie in the picture, the escape plan is being put into action a month early. They’re now rushing to save him and Richie before they alert the authorities of the other few hundred kids still locked in the house. 

Richie has kept a book of all the children that have come and gone so that when the authorities are alerted, they have records of all the children that have stepped foot into the house while Richie was there.

“This is it,” Richie says to himself as he finally lets himself go to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day comes and Richie puts the plan into action, he volunteers, almost straight away, to take Eddie his breakfast. The musician swaps a few of the disgusting items with half of his scrambled eggs and takes it down to the cell that Eddie’s in. 

It physically hurts him to know that Eddie is locked in there. Nobody likes being put in there and to think that Harter is usually soft on the newcomers. It must be Sonia Kaspbrak running the show, giving him full access to take drastic measures if Eddie steps out of line. 

From what Richie can remember about Sonia, is how much of an unrealistic hardass she was. Half the time she’d be telling Eddie that he couldn’t hang out with him because Richie was dirty, Richie used to spend 30 minutes scrubbing himself clean and spending 5 minutes on his dental hygiene just so that he could see Eddie. But Sonia still saw him as a dirty boy and Richie had no idea why. He smelled and looked clean, what else could he do?

If she’s behind the reason why Eddie is locked up in that hell hole, she’ll have another thing coming.

*

Richie passes the guard, smiling politely.

“This is for Edward Kaspbrak,” Richie says, the guard nods and lets him through. The tall boy finally reaches BR5 (Basement Room 5), he does a quick over shoulder look, to make sure the guard isn’t looking and slips the note in first before sliding the tray through the small flap in the door. 

Most of the BRs have cameras in them to spy and analyse the captives but in this particular room, there isn’t any. Richie knows that Eddie is somewhat safe in this one, sure it’s still uncomfortable and small, nothing Eddie does in the confined space will be seen. His modesty is protected, he can eat what Richie has given him without penalty and he can read the note in comfort. 

They’ve truly taken the concept of Big Brother to a whole new level in this place, they’re just steps away from becoming George Orwell’s “1984”. 

He knows his place here, he knows what he has to do in order to fly under the radar, but it’s no use. No matter how hard he fakes it, he also shows hesitation towards their questioning or beliefs. He had to accept his fate a long, long time ago, and now that Eddie’s here, things just may lookup. 

Eddie will help him escape because Eddie isn’t like the others, he knows that he isn’t sick. All that matters now is whether or not Eddie is on board with this plan, and if not, well then Richie is stuck here with no way out. 

*

As he listens to Richie’s heavy footsteps leave, Eddie opens the note. He knows just how dangerous this is, a guard could walk in at any given time, but this must be important if Richie had risked it down here.

  
  


_ Dear Spaghetti,  _

_ This is a bit of a reach but I plan on escaping at some point tonight. If you aren’t out by midday today, I will come and collect you at 12 am. I have a friend that I have been talking to for the past year and she will come in her car and take us away. She was friends with this dude named Ben Hanscom before she was sent to live with her aunt. And he was friends with this bloke named Mike Hanlon, he’s agreed to let us sleep at his farm and for us to be homeschooled with him.  _

_ But we must be out by 1 am as that’s when the guards will come back to duty, if, for whatever reason, we aren’t out by 3, she will leave and call the police.  _

_ There’s a long story as to why she hasn’t made the call before, but that is all about to change tonight.  _

_ See you at 12 Spaghetti. _

  
  


He feels strange, not only is there some weird flutter in his heart, but he feels sick with a weird feeling in his stomach. A feeling he hasn’t felt since …  _ oh _ . Well, it does make sense, after all, Richie still is the same boy from all those years ago. But it’s painfully obvious that Richie doesn’t remember him. 

Wait! He called him ‘Spaghetti’, surely he remembers, he has to. There is no way that that just came out when he was writing the note. It’s almost like Richie remembers that ‘Eddie Spaghetti’ and ‘Eds’ annoys the shit out of Eddie. 

Either way, Eddie feels nervous now, he won’t be able to let this crush slide. He doesn’t believe in soulmates but something about Richie makes him think otherwise. The two used to get on like two peas in a pod, sure they had their moments where they bantered but Richie was sweet, that is, if you dug deep enough. 

If Eddie didn’t know any better, he’d say that Richie either 1) had a soft spot for him, or 2) felt the same way that he does. 

But of course, that’s way off, there’s no way that Richie feels the same way, it’s just pure luck that he wants to escape and bring Eddie along with him … and back to Derry where he will get to stay in Mike’s house?! 

That brings a genuine smile to Eddie’s face, he gets to his Mike, Ben, Stan and Bill again. He couldn’t be any more thrilled, relieved as well, he just hopes that the plan goes swimmingly, otherwise, he’ll be stuck here until he’s 18.


	5. Chapter 5

Later that night, Richie lies awake, Eddie and determination are the only objectives on his mind; nothing will be able to shake that. With every passing minute, Richie can hear the wardens’ footsteps start to soften as they retreat down the stairs. However, he knows that there will be one remaining warden and he or she will be perched right by the stairs. 

With that knowledge, Richie goes back to his original plan. The plan that he had said to Bev that he will not use unless he really has to.

If he exits out of the far side window, he’ll be safe. There’s a large tree that will provide a good escape route and will hide him enough, if someone comes to check the perimeters of the building, or if one of the boys looks out their window. Richie notes the breeze, it’s strong but not insanely, it’ll provide a good cover for the rustling of the branches. 

With nothing to grab, beside a few favourite books that he decides to snaffle, Richie makes his way onto the tree, careful to not get his backpack caught. Bev had managed to hide Richie’s backpack in his room, before she was sent back to her aunt’s, for this very reason. 

As he climbs onto the only branch that is somewhat sturdy, the tall skinny boy moves quickly towards the thicker part of the tree, where his weight will be supported. Thankfully, Richie doesn’t have a fear of heights, otherwise, he may just end up falling to his death. 

The descend down is slow and painful, Richie is sure that he’s got a number of good cuts, grazes and bruises. But that doesn’t seem to phase him, the adrenaline is pumping in his blood and he is now fully out in the open. With the outside lights not working, everything seems to be going to plan. 

The only difficult parts will be getting Eddie out and then getting to Bev who will be 500 meters away. 

*

Richie creeps around the odd corners of the structure, careful to not be seen or heard. He’s had the guards’ movements mapped since he and Bev had started this escape plan, so he’s very much aware that one can come up behind him at any given moment. 

Sure enough, he hears footsteps coming from the opposite direction, the tall boy crouches behind one of the bushes, careful to not make a sound. The guard walks straight past, tossing his flashlight up and down aimlessly, they truly do have the most boring job since nothing like this ever happens. 

Once he’s sure that the guard is gone, Richie emerges from the bush and slips inside the structure. Following the stairs down, the boy swears he can hear voices down below. 

“Maybe it’s just the other boys locked inside,” Richie whispers to himself. 

He slows his movements right down, careful to not let his heavy feet be heard, in case they are guards talking. With a quick check of the clock, Richie notes that it’s 5 minutes to 12 am, he has an hour to sneak Eddie and himself out past the front gate. 

This is not going to be a walk in the park, they’ll be exposed to the boys, but not to the guards. There is a high possibility that one of the boys could tell one of the guards about the two escapees, Bev just better be there when they bolt past the gate.

As he enters the bright hallway, he notices that the voices belong to the boys in holding, Richie takes the moment to quickly check the phone,  _ 1 message from Beaverly _ . 

**Beaverly** : I’m out front, the gate is open, as always, get your boy and run.

“Sweet,” he mutters to himself.

In one swift movement, the key, that is wrapped around his neck, is off and he races for Eddie’s door. The hypochondriac races out to hug Richie but the taller boy doesn’t return, instead, he pulls away and grabs Eddie’s wrist and the two start running. 

Richie shortcuts it through the house, careful to not make a sound, even though the front door will be a telltale sign, but the guard that should’ve gone through it would leave it open. 

Sure enough, the front door is open and all they have to do is sprint the 500 meters that they have to the gate. If they hang by the trees, they’ll be hidden from view, if they venture into the driveway, they’ll be seen. 

*

There are shouts in the distance, and sure enough, a guard emerges from the shadows, an industrial flashlight in his hand. Richie’s grip tightens, on Eddie’s wrist and the two break off into a sprint. 

Wind whistles in their ears as they run into the wind, the shouts from the guard start to get louder and is suddenly joined with another guard's voice. But the two don’t look back, as looking back will only slow them down and they couldn’t let that happen not when they are so close.

Bev’s truck is only meters away and the boys make the quick decision to jump into the tray rather than the cabin. 

Richie jumps in first and holds his hand out to Eddie. 

“You have to jump!” Richie yells. 

Eddie hesitates and makes the mistake of looking back, the guards are right there now. Any more time wasted and Eddie will be ripped away. Bev starts the truck, causing it to shudder with the sudden vibration of the engine turning on, causing the hypochondriac to jump in fright, but it causes him to grab Richie’s hand and hoists himself (with the help of Richie) onto the tray.

Bev speeds off down the road and makes a few turns, to really throw the guards off their course, in case they decide to follow. 

*

Her hasty decision had taken them to a rundown motel, where she pulled over to let the boys into the cabin of the vehicle. She pulls away and heads back out onto the highway, not wanting to risk going back towards Derry.

“We can’t go back to Derry?” Eddie asks. “Why?”

It’s a stupid question but his judgement is obviously overclouded by the adrenaline and fright. Richie and Beverly can only sit there to reassure him that everything will be fine.

“Because we were almost caught, they can easily call your mom and my parents, telling them that we escaped,” Richie says. “We had a backup plan if this scenario happened.”

“My good friend Kay McCall, she’s not too far away,” Bev says.

Eddie feels his heart sink, he longs to see his friends again but he’s very much aware of the circumstances. He wants to stay with Richie, he feels safe with him. His heart flutters every time Richie speaks to him, calls him one of those stupid nicknames or touches him slightly. 

Cuddling with Richie would be like heaven, he wouldn’t want to leave, not at all.

But then there are his friends, his group of people that don’t judge others; a band of losers. It’s only been, what? Two days? And he misses them, he wants to see them, to tell them that he’s okay. 

As much as he wants Richie, he wants his friends, his life more.

“I don’t care, take me back to Derry,” Eddie says.

“Eds - “

“That’s not my name Richard, take me back to Derry, Beverly,” Eddie demands.

The redheaded girl does a u-turn and heads back in the direction to Derry. Both she and Richie know of the risks but if this is what Eddie wants then so be it. 

“Eddie please, don’t do this, I know how much they mean to you, but if Sonia is anything like I remember she will send you back there. She knows where you’ll go, if you come with us, you’ll be safe.” Richie tries to reason but the boy in the backseat isn’t having any of it.

“Richie I barely know you, besides Mike and Ben won’t rat me out,” Eddie exclaims.

“Your mom will know that you’ll be at Mike’s! Please, for your safety,” Richie’s voice wavers a little, almost like he's trying to fight back tears. 

But Eddie doesn’t care, he can’t sit here knowing that Richie doesn’t feel the same way. Although, why did he risk his escape for him? He could’ve gone straight to Bev without him and they’d be on their way either to Derry or whoever this Kay McCall person is. 

“Why did you come to get me, Richie?” Eddie asks quietly, completely ignoring Richie’s comment about his safety.

“Bev can you pull over please, somewhere that we’ll be hidden,” Richie says, the girl beside him nods and drives towards a service station, stopping behind a bush. 

*

She goes to get out of the vehicle but Richie stops her and signals for Eddie to get out of the truck. Eddie flings himself into the tray and Richie does the same, the couple sits hip to hip, with their backs against the cold hard metal wall. 

“I know you want to go back, your friends mean everything to you, I get it. But your safety and wellbeing is my top priority,” Richie tells Eddie.

“Why does it matter to you? We’ve only known each other for 24 hours!” Eddie cries. “I don’t care if I get caught, my friends will stand by me.”

“There’s a reason why you ran off crying last night, much like there’s a reason why I won’t let you go back to Derry.”

“Go on.”

Richie turns in his place, to face the boy he’s liked ever since he was 10, as he locks eyes with him, all the words he had been planning to tell him for years are lost. The words lie in a pile of mush in his brain.

The sentences; hodgepodge. 

Nothing makes sense other than the fear in Eddie’s eyes. 

If there’s one thing that Richie never wants to see again, it’s the fear behind Eddie’s hopeful expression. 

“I can’t let you go back, I can’t lose you again,” Richie musters out.

“What? What do you mean?” Eddie queries.

Richie can’t bear to look Eddie in the eye, he drags his gaze to his hands that are placed comfortably in his lap. 

“That boy, the one that made me realise ... Y-you’re him.”

Eddie gasps and audible gasp and Richie knows that there’s no turning back now. It’s out in the open and it can go one of two ways.

  1. Eddie rejects him and forces Bev to take him back to Derry where he most likely will end up going back to the hell house. 
  2. Eddie feels the same way and sees the beauty in running far away from Derry as possible.



The second one is a long shot, but Richie’s hopeful.


	6. Chapter 6

Eddie doesn’t know what to say, he sits there, quiet, the only noise is the very few cars speeding down the highway. Even if he agrees and goes with Richie and Bev, he still runs the risk of being found, especially if Sonia gets involved. Both decisions are risky but one is more precarious than the other. He knows that there is only one right option but he misses his friends, a great deal that is. 

The only thing that Eddie can think of is kissing Richie, but, oh dear god, that will only make Richie think that he’s going to go with them. 

Eddie starts to quake, lips quiver as he continues to think about his lips slotted with Richie’s. But he can’t, he just can’t, so he turns away.

“I like you too Richie, but I can’t go,” Eddie says quietly.

“What do you mean? Of course, you can, it’s the only way, Eddie,” Richie begs.

The hypochondriac turns back to face Richie, “you don’t get it after you were ripped away from us, mom got worse, she knew how attached we were and I before I knew it, my life was over.” Eddie pauses for a bit, licking his lips a little, “I was already a hypochondriac but she started going overboard, giving me curfews, trying to keep me locked in 24/7. If I came home with one bruise, I was immediately taken to the hospital.”

“What’s that got to do with me?”

Richie is right, what does any of this have to do with him? However, Eddie has some clue.

As the timid boy takes a deep breath, red and blue sirens shine in the distance and both boys jump back into the truck. 

“I don’t care if Bev hears,” Eddie whispers as Bev pulls away from their park. “Um, mom thought that if she kept me away and kept allowing me to take sugar pills, placebos, in other words, then I wouldn’t become like you. She had me believing that you had infected me somehow, but I learnt that it wasn’t true.” 

“It makes no sense, why would she … “ Bev trails off, coming to the realisation. 

As Eddie keeps mentioning how he and Richie were once inseparable, he had also mentioned how all he had at the time was fake asthma and allergies. Only because Sonia wanted to keep him from running around and inevitably injuring himself. But when Richie had come out as gay several years ago, Sonia practically lost it, believing that her son could be infected. 

Eddie continues to explain the rest in great detail, to the two up the front. 

He explains how she had taken him straight to the hospital to get him tested for the disease that makes you have “impure thoughts of sexuality”, those are the exact words that Sonia Kaspbrak had used to the “doctor”. Of course, with Eddie being so young and naive, and haven’t been told about puberty, sex or anything (obviously, cause he’s 9/10), didn’t think anything of it and let himself get tested. 

Well, he didn’t exactly have a choice, he didn’t have full custody of his rights just yet, his mom held all the power. 

“And apparently, she still does,” Richie mutters, which earns him a punch to the arm by Bev.

Eddie continues about the placebo drugs and how annoying they were. He had to take like 20 a day to stop this “disease”. 

By the age of 13, Eddie realised what they were but he couldn’t stop taking them since Sonia made sure he took them. He didn’t just realise that though, he also came to the realisation that every other illness that he had, he didn’t. And even if he did, he certainly wouldn’t still have them considering the incubation period and the medicine. It’s like the flu, comes for 2 weeks, max, then is out of your system, having been fought off by medicine, teas etc. 

Which meant that he could have been lied to about puberty, sex and all of that, that comes with entering his adolescent years. But since he had been told nothing, maybe his mother didn't plan on telling him anything at all, wanting him to remain this naive young boy. 

"What a bitch!" Bev announces.

"I know and that's exactly why I wanted to go back," Eddie sighs out.

"Wanted?! As in past tense?!" Richie screams joyously. 

"Yes, past tense, Richie," Eddie chuckles. "I don't know why I'm still afraid of her, I'm almost an adult. Besides, that's cruel to stop a full education."

"They don't actually stop your education, although they go overboard with assignments according to those that come and go," Richie states. "I got straight A's in everything."

Eddie grins widely and turns his focus to the dark scenery, out the window. 

_Hot and very intelligent_ , Eddie thinks to himself.

The road lights and headlights light up the highway, the silhouettes of the trees bring a shiver to Eddie's body. It's eerie, not a car in sight, other than that police car that they had heard and seen, just moments ago, as it turns out that they weren't the ones they were after, which is a breath of fresh air. But it's still creepy, the trees looked scary as the moon was partially hidden behind them and some clouds. It's like a horror movie scene, except nothing is chasing them and no one is about to face a horrible bloody death.

With the car ride now in absolute silence, Eddie starts to succumb to sleep, the adrenaline finally escaping his system and is no longer up for the fight. But after his conversation with Richie and then Bev & Richie, he realised his mistake of wanting - no, needing - to go back. 

He no longer wants to fight, no longer wants to succumb to his mother in fear. But most importantly, he no longer wants to cower away to that succumbing and learn what life has installed for him if he stands his ground. 

And now that he’s running towards something, he can rest.

*

Bev looks in the rearview mirror, smiling as she sees Eddie with his head leaning on the window, asleep peacefully. She nudges Richie, who’s got his eyes trained on a stain on the carpet. 

“What?” Richie says, shocked.

“He’s asleep,” Bev says, smiling like a proud parent who just got her baby to sleep again. Richie turns in his seat to peer at the boy he’s been in love with for almost a decade. 

“He’s cute,” Richie whispers.

“Richie, can I ask you something?” Richie nods. “What happened before you both came back? And what do you think of all of this? What he’s just said, seems like a lot to take in, I’m still trying to process it myself.”

“He likes me back … “ Richie replies quietly, but then trails off as he tries to think of a way to describe how he’s feeling. 

“Take your time, but at least he likes you back, hun. Ask him on a date when we get back.”

Richie smiles weakly but nods nonetheless.

*

Richie’s quiet for a few minutes, trying to gather up the courage and words to express his feelings towards Eddie’s bombshell. 

“Look,” Richie sighs out, “I’m just going to say that it’s his life and if that’s what he had to deal with growing up, then that’s fucked. I am glad that he’s come to his senses and won’t go back, he doesn’t need that bullshit in his life.”

Bev smirks at him.

“What?” Richie asks.

“Careful, sounds to me like you’re becoming your worst nightmare,” Bev chuckles, “I can see it now, ‘Richard Tozier, Protective Clingy Boyfriend’.”

“Shut up,” Richie pushes Bev’s arm lightly, not wanting to cause the vehicle to swerve. 

Bev spots a sign for McDonald’s up ahead and is quick to change lanes to make for an easy exit off the highway. The redhead signals for Richie to wake Eddie, to see what he wants.

“Are you insane?” Richie whispers, but the look that Bev shoots back causes Richie to reach out to Eddie’s leg, shaking it gently. “Eddie? Eddie?”

“Whaaaaaat?” Eddie replies groggily and starts to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

The boy in the backseat notes the giant yellow arches in the distance and immediately calls for large fries and 10 chicken nuggets. 

It’s been ages since he’s had junk food, the last time being when his dad was still alive and his mom didn’t give two shits about his health. But after that, Eddie’s only touched healthy foods and hasn’t seen the outside of Derry in a little over a decade. 

Frank had always taken Eddie for one weekend, every month, for a guy’s escape, where they’d do anything that Eddie wanted. Things included: amusement parks, the beach, you name it. They sometimes slept in the car or at a motel, depended on where they went, but they always had junk food. Something that Sonia would never have approved on. 

It was Eddie’s great escape.

*

Eddie reaches forward to collect his dinner … It is 3 am by this point, so maybe a “late-night snack” is the more appropriate term. Then again, he didn’t eat his dinner, considering it was a disgusting pile of slop. 

Richie climbs into the backseat with Eddie, placing two frozen cokes into the cup holder on the back of the centre console. 

“Here, Richie,” Bev says, passing Richie his cheeseburger and fries.

“Thanks, Bev,” Richie replies, reaching forward to grab his food. As he unwraps his burger, Richie turns to face Eddie. “I was uh wondering if you uh … “ Eddie looks at Richie with slight impatience.

“Spit it out Trashmouth,” Eddie says with a slight chuckle in his voice.

“Wow, I haven’t heard anyone call me that in years.”

Eddie blushes profusely, while Richie ponders over the fact that Stan had started calling him that when he started using rude words such as ‘stupid’ or ‘dumb’ way before he learnt any real swear words. 

“You were saying, Richie,” Bev prompts from the driver’s seat.

“Right, uh, Eddie, did you want to go on a date with me? Preferably after today since we’ll probably be tired,” Richie says.

“Of course, Rich, I would love to,” Eddie replies and starts to munch on his chicken nuggets.

**** **** **** ****

The next day, Richie sets up a date plan with Bev, after having her console her friends back in Derry. WIth Ben and Mike’s inputs, Richie has written down a game plan and a car that he can borrow. 

“Did that man seriously allow you to get your license?” Bev asks.

Richie pulls out the very ID that shows that he is legally allowed to drive. 

“Took a full 3 months to convince the devil to let me get it, but it happened,” Richie replies happily. “So you don’t mind if I borrow your truck?”

“No, I don’t, just promise me that you won’t crash it.” 

The begging in Bev’s voice didn’t go unnoticed, especially when Eddie walks in. 

“What’s Bev begging about now?” Eddie asks groggily.

“Not to crash her car when I take you on a date,” Richie announces.

That seems to put a smile on a waking Eddie’s face. He had been waiting a full day for Richie to finally take him out, just the two of them and a night on the town. Since the school year doesn't start up for another couple of weeks, Eddie is beyond thrilled that Richie wants to spend a full day with him before the times get tough. And thanks to Bev’s quick thinking, Eddie was able to get transferred to an online school with Richie and herself. Since she had turned 18, Bev made it very clear that she no longer wanted to live with her aunt and so moved in with her best friend Kay. 

“Have some food, get ready then we’ll get going, I have a great day planned from now until evening,” Richie says to the cute, sleepy hypochondriac.

“Okay,” Eddie replies and moves into the kitchen.

Bev and Richie leave the room to start on their plan to expose the house for what it truly is. 

The owners are about to get a tremendous shock.

It’s in this present moment that Richie’s adrenaline pumps up as he and Bev compile their evidence, ready for them to go to the police station. Bev has 20 files of photos, emails, texts, everything that Richie could think of, lying on her desk. 

As he reads through multiple files, he sees that some of them contain information from boys that were able to get away from the house. Some that were there way before him and all of them were from Derry, no surprise there. 

“Bev, how did you get all these?” Richie asks. 

“I found their files in my uncle’s office, I took photos of them, they should be here somewhere.” Bev starts to flick through a few before turning back to Richie. “I phoned them, explained the situation and they agreed to meet with Ben and me.”

He continues to look over the files in awe of the boys that gave her statements, with CDs with the actual interview.

The likelihood of coming across a conversion camp is highly unlikely, but because this is Derry, the likelihood is highly likely to certain. But this isn’t just any old conversion camp, for some strange reason they don’t do the highly religious studies or the strong abuse. No, no, no. They used a means of discipline and negative reinforcement to manipulate their minds, sure it’s multiple forms of abuse, but somehow it works because the young children let it.

“There’s a house for girls too,” Bev says. “It’s not too far from the boys’ one. There aren’t many there for some strange reason, it’s small, looks like a regular apartment complex.”

The redhead flicks the file over to Richie, and his jaw immediately drops. The boy is quick to grab Bev's keys from her desk, and a few boxes of files before he bolts out the door, Bev close on his tail.

*

Beverly and Richie waltz into the police station with their mass amounts of boxes. A few officers in the precinct stop what they're doing and stare at the 2 teenagers with arms full of boxes.

"We would like you to look at our investigation," Bev says to one of the officers.

"What's this about?" One asks.

"There's a conversion camp about an hour or so away from here and they have abused me and a number of other kids," Richie pipes up. "All of these boxes contain evidence from past and present boys living in the house, as well as evidence of a female house 30 minutes down the road." Richie puts down the boxes in front of him and walks over to the officer he's addressing.

"I am Richard Tozier and I have been in that place since I was 10, I have scars up and down my body from being beaten and burned. I want justice for what they have done, officer ..."

"Officer Kat," the officer replies, she turns to a male colleague and gestures him over. "Richard, officer Bradley will take it from here, we'll take it from here."

"My uncle runs the place," Bev says. "I have been trying to get it to shut down for years but because I was a minor, I couldn't. I would like to make a statement myself if I can."

The pair are separated, Richie follows the male officer to a photography room to gather evidence of the abuse that he had been succumbed to, while Bev follows the female officer to a room to give a statement. The boxes are collected by other officers for further investigation to see what actions will need to be taken. 

**** **** **** ****

Later on that day, Eddie is impatiently waiting for Richie and Bev's return. They had said that it wouldn't take long but they are both 2 hours late! The hypochondriac starts to pace around the room, getting frantic about whether or not Richie was found by the house's guards. 

_Bang!_

The front door swings open and there stands a grinning Richie.

"I have officially won the battle!" Richie screams.

"Hey, that's all because of me!" Bev cries.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Richie chuckles, Bev giggles lightly as she rolls her eyes. "Come now Eddie Spaghetti, I have a great afternoon planned of romance."

Eddie laughs and grabs his wallet and _new_ phone from his room and follows Richie to the truck.

"So where to first?" Eddie asks.

"All in due time my dear."

Eddie hates surprises but he feels surprisingly safe with Richie, it's like that blind trust that everyone says is a good & bad thing. Eddie knows that it can backfire at any moment but the feeling he has whenever Richie is in the room, he doesn't want it to go away.

As they drive through town, they talk about everything, all the things that Richie had missed when he was kept from the town. How Derry still hasn't changed, how the school is still ruled by Henry Bowers, who was kept back in the 2nd grade for failing almost every subject. Eddie tells him that Stanley Uris is still the timid Jew that Richie was best friends with, and how he and Eddie often are in cahoots whenever Bill, Ben or Mike want to do something stupid. Both boys terrified of the consequences of their actions.

Richie simply laughs but the ache in his heart starting to get too much to bear, he misses his 2 friends back in Derry. Bill, Stan, Eddie and he were the friend group that was joint at the hip and unbeknownst to Richie, Stan and Bill were upset when Richie 'died', while Eddie was made to believe that Richie was just an imaginary boy that played with them even though he had gone to Richie's funeral.

"We're at our first stop," Richie says. "And just in time for the sunset."

Richie pulls over to the parking lot that is right by a cliff face, you can see the town below. Eddie marvels over the view as Richie starts to adjust his seat so that he's laying down. 

"Move the seat forward, then lay it down," Richie says breaking Eddie's trance. 

The hypochondriac does what Richie says and turns to face the comedian. Both stare at each other for a while before Richie turns back to face the view, gently sighing out a puff of breath.

"What's on your mind?" Eddie whispers quietly.

"Just ... just - " Richie pauses and sighs before looking back at Eddie. "I'm scared, scared for me, scared for you, scared of the future. Your mom can come at any moment and have me done for kidnapping."

"Richie ... " 

Eddie couldn't have seen this coming, this heaviness, this deepness of Richie's thoughts.

"I am in love with you Eddie and have been since I was 13. I had liked you previously but when Bev came by one day with a photo of you and the group, I fell in love with you even more."

Eddie's breathing hitches and he forces himself to tear his gaze back to the setting sun. 

"I love you too," Eddie replies quietly. "I have since I laid my eyes on you again. I never forgot how you made me feel when we were kids and apart, that connection only grew stronger when I met you the other day."

Richie sits upright, leaning on the back of the car seat, the sudden movement causes Eddie to do the same and in an instant, the two of them kiss. 

Richie often laughed at the idea of any sort of sparks, electricity, fireworks, butterflies whenever people spoke about kissing, but today he realised that those ideas aren't stupid, in fact, they are correct. Kissing Eddie sent a kaleidoscope of butterflies off in his stomach, and simultaneously pulled the smaller boy closer to him as he dug his hands through Eddie's hair and small of his back.

Eddie couldn't be any happier, every thought he has thought the past few years was so underwhelming than what he is feeling. It feels as though Richie's hands and lips were made for the hypochondriac as they fitted together so well. 

"I know it's too soon, but will you be my boyfriend?" Richie says as he pulls away.

"It is but I don't care, so yes, yes I will be your boyfriend Richie," Eddie replies and kisses Richie again.


End file.
